i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
