Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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