Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize