I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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