And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
