I feel like abortions should bother me more
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
