I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
