I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
