whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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