Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
