shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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