these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
