I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize