I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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