I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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