good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
