He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize