it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dicks are not precious.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
