can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
