if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize