just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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