so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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