We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
