Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
