Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
