I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
