I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
