I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
