Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
