Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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