I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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