their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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