I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
