Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
