just come out here and I will go home with you...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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