I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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