Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
