I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
