You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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