Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
