Duck Duck Cougar?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
