lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I fill condoms, not promises.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He? As in you personified your dick?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
