You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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