Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i barfeds in our rink
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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