he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize