if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I want a musical about memes.
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