would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize