Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
