Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
