so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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