thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
