i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize