don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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