Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
