Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
