please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She said her name was "party"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
