but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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