Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
