I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
