If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
