It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
